Evenings where my mind wont stop racing.
And I can’t stop thinking about my life and where it’s heading.
Lately I’ve been wondering if there are certain people from my past that will be in my future ever again. Sometimes I wonder if God plans these people to drop in your life, and for what?
A preview of what is to come?
A telling of what you should NOT be about?
I wish I knew if things were meant to be with certain people.
I find myself wondering if people actually do change.
I mean it seems so likely, but in all realization, do they? Habits are hard to break, and especially old ways with people that you’re accustomed to certain expectations of.
I wonder often, of a few people in particular. If they feel the same that I do.
Will I ever find out if they do…?
This is Kiva Han Coffee Shop. And this has become my spot to relax, and do work.
It is being closed in 3 days because they couldn’t keep their lease. They are closing down, and the establishment will “transform” into a BAGEL FACTORY. -__- IF I wanted to go to Bagel Factory, I could easily drive down the street to Ellsworth. It’s not even 2 FREAKING miles away!!!
Can you believe it!? ANOTHER Bagel shop in Pittsburgh!? How frustrating. Oakland has lost a cool, eclectic, fun place to come for a cup of Joe.
I will PROTEST the loss of Kiva Han by NOT partaking in this new Bagel Factory.
I’m a young lady.
And as a young woman, I build up expectations. Expectations for every.single.thing! And, frankly, I am sick of it. I end up not getting what I hoped for, but rather, disappointment.
But, now I have a new expectation as of tonight.
But why? you might wonder?
Well, it is an expectation of myself.
I need to break habits I have developed over the past few years. Many of them are detrimental to my body, my mind, and my overall well-being. For example, lets look at the list, shall we?
a) drinking (heavily) >:-|
b) being too sedentary
c) eating while bored
d) not getting enough sleep (it’s currently 3:12AM…I work at 10AM)
And, there are some others I suppose - but these are the ones that must be destroyed!
I have made a pact with my friend ~ we’ll call her Lil until she approves of me discussing her in an online forum HA (hope she gets the joke!!) ~ to quit drinking. Not cold turkey at first (she has an event this weekend and will drink a bit, and I have half a bottle of red wine staring at me from within arm’s reach) - but completely by Lent. I am psyched. She planted this brilliant idea in my head a few days ago, and we discussed it further this evening, and we both think it will limit various stresses in our lives…many of these stresses which derive FROM drinking. Ta-da! Solution! :-D
Speaking of Lil ~ she and I ended up talking for about 3 hours tonight. I realized that she and I are on the same page with SO many things and I couldn’t be happier. It is so relieving to express deep, inner, personal struggles with someone who will a) understand where I am coming from and b) not judge me.
It means so much to have someone like her in my life! She is the best person I have around me right now. Love her to death. She definitely inspires me a lot! She has inspired me to quit drinking with her, as well as to FINALLY start my blog (which other friends have suggested before, but I’ve obviously never gotten around to it) - and Ta-da! I’m doin it! And YOU are reading it! Hurray! :-D
I am pumped to write on this forum and let my emotions and thoughts and ideas run wild. Thank God for free speech, eh?
Here’s to you, Lil!